I can honestly say, without fear of contradiction, that I’ve never come across anyone, in any setting, who has ever expressed even the slightest dissatisfaction with the centuries old ritual of wine being poured from bottle to glass. But Graham from Cleveland in Ohio thinks differently and, according to his website, he’s developed a revolutionary new product that will fulfil the dreams of anxious male wine drinkers everywhere.

Graham, it would seem, has uncovered and successfully resolved an awkward social situation that I, for one, was blissfully unaware of. “Out with a friend at a bar, Graham wished he could order wine, but didn’t want a “Sauvignon Blanc” or “Pinot” in stemware when his friend had a can of beer. He bought mancanwine.com that night.”

That’s right, out with his beer-swilling buddy that fateful evening, Graham had a ‘brainwave’ and hit upon the idea of producing wine in a can so that he, and men like him, can exude manliness whilst out drinking wine in public.

There are 3 “Mancan” lines currently available and, lest there be any lingering doubts about the product amongst its target audience of ‘real men’, each is emblazoned with the strapline, “Shut Up And Drink.” And sad to say, it doesn’t end there. Someone, I imagine Graham, has also felt the need to share, on the side of the can, the heavy-handed back story.

“Thought up by a guy who lives in an old firehouse, walks to work with his dog, has two bikes and a trike, and wanted to move beyond stemware. At MANCAN we believe wine is for drinking, not pairing, and our “notes” are more rock than classical.”

“Crush one at the game, throw one in your back pocket on a camping trip, or pop one open at your favourite dive bar. Just do us a favour and don’t talk about the “aroma.”

As you’ll have gathered, Graham hasn’t totally won me over with his pitch and I don’t think I’ll be importing “Mancan” any time soon but I do feel, as we’re both – loosely – in the same game, that, rather than dismiss, I should seek to understand and to, maybe, help Graham overcome his crippling fear of ordering wine at his local. Surely, there’s some way other than “Mancan” that he could drink wine on a night out without appearing impossibly girly?

Now, I’m no psychologist and, obviously, I don’t know Graham but, judging from the evidence, it would appear that he’s trying to bolster his fragile masculinity with a brand that shouts far too loudly of manliness and, in my opinion, he could achieve the same thing, more subtley, simply by going big.

MEN FINAL

Magnums, in my humble opinion, are the solution for Graham. With a capacity of 1500ml, they’re double the size of normal wine bottles and all that extra length, girth and weight will surely dissuade any one from doubting his masculinity should he take the bold step of ordering one in public.

In a ‘hands across the ocean’ gesture, I’ll even pay for the shipping to the States should Graham fancy a bottle of my suggested magnum below.

Les Coteaux Schisteux Séguret, Côtes du Rhône Villages in Magnum £ 26.50

The grapes – Grenache Noir and Syrah – for this wine are sourced from a single vineyard in the rugged mountainous terroir of Séguret in the southern Rhône valley.

Aroma wise – Stay calm Graham – the Séguret has intense notes of vanilla, black cherry fruit and spice.

On the palate, the wine is rich with morello cherries and chocolate.

Pair it – Steady Graham, it’s nearly over! – with hearty meat dishes and casseroles.